I'm in love

I started the Flowing River Shawl this week and I'm totally in love with it. This is my first shawl, and my first time reading off a chart. I admit that it's been a bit of a challenge, but one I'm enjoying. I'm just incredulous when this random combination of stitches ends up looking like a flower. WOW! Fun.

Just finished with chart 1. I'm using Claudia's Handpainted silk.

Meet Margaret... (and other spinning ventures)

...The long awaited spinning wheel! I've actually begun to get the hang of it. I admit that I still don't trust that I'm actually making yarn that I could actually USE- partly because the idea is just so astonishing, but also partly because, well, the yarn doesn't always work out the way I'm meaning it to when I spin. But, for the most part? Very cool. Margaret and I are getting to know one another slowly, but very surely- a lovely friendship is developing.

Wanna meet her?

The Majacraft Little Gem is portable (10 lbs), a double treadle (so I don't kill only one of my legs pedaling), made in New Zealand, comes with a lazy kate and 3 bobbins, and...um, um...what else am I supposed to say about her? Well, she's just beautiful. When I opened her up (she comes with a carry case) the first thing I saw was a bobbin. I promptly burst into tears since I realized what it was, and I could feel the love from my mom and dad in this gift. Once I collected myself, I began to take the actual body out and burst into tears again- seeing the beauty of her wood. I never imagined I would have a beautiful wood spinning wheel so soon. I'm so grateful.


And, she fits perfectly in this small space in the living room, next to the wood chest David's friend made us. I would say that the streamer you see in this picture has since been taken down from David's birthday, but I would be lying- I'm so bad about taking down decorations.

I've been spinning some green (they call it "peridot") Corriedale that my mom had given me for my birthday in September. Very soft and yummy (from Copper Moose).

Actually, on a side topic, I've been spinning that same roving using my drop spindle. I'm very happily getting almost lace weight, which pleases me greatly.

This is a whole new relationship with my fiber. I like it.

Receiving what I open to

I have always believed that life will offer an individual what they open themselves to. The emphasis of this belief is slightly different than receiving what you ask for, although similar. In my early years of college I didn't find the perfect boyfriend-- even though I certainly asked for it frequently ;) I didn't find the perfect partner until I made a shift in myself. The process of developing a new space inside oneself and nurturing it with honesty to oneself and openness is what brings that new desire. Although sometimes it's appropriate to take some external steps to get what you want, often it's simply that internal shift that brings about change.

I have always had this core belief, but it wasn't until I started my own business that the truth in it became most clear to me. For some reason, the processes involved in owning my own business make everything very clear. When I open to something, the very next week I get it. I'm sure this happens in the rest of my life, but I haven't been able to see it as clearly as in my work.

When we first came to Gainesville, I spent the first 2 months working hard to develop my business. I expected it would take time, but I got frustrated when I still hadn't gotten any calls after a few months. One Friday afternoon I became so frustrated and upset that I began crying and realizing how angry I was. I took a bath and just tried to crystallize what I wanted in my mind. I literally yelled "I want a family to call me with a 4-6 year old child who wants me to work with them right now!" Then I calmed down and settled in to watch a movie. Two hours later my business phone rang for the first time- it was the mother of a 4-year-old boy who wanted my services and wanted to get started ASAP. I still have that client and they started my journey into this business.

Since then, I find that there will be times when I haven't gotten any new calls for new clients. These are times when I actually don't WANT any new clients since I'm too booked. Then, that feeling will change and I'll realize I'd like more work. I'll talk to David and say, "I wouldn't mind having 2-3 more clients now. Maybe I'll advertise next week." The next few days I almost always get 3-4 calls from families who want me- before doing any advertising at all.

Well, the experience of going to Temple has been another opening time. I have been considering cutting back a bit on my days of work so that I can focus on a fuller school load if (when?) I get accepted. In the last week 3-4 clients, for various reasons have decided to terminate therapy soon- for good reasons, not bad. It feels good- interesting enough, I've also gotten about 6-8 new inquiries at the same time. This means that I will have some newness in my work (which I was wanting) and I'll still be able to cut down on my days some (which I was wanting). I'm just flabbergasted. I haven't gotten any new calls for a few months- and now they all call or email in one week. All of this simply because I shifted something inside myself and made what I really want more clear to myself.

We are very powerful individuals, if we allow ourselves to be. Good for me to remember.

Spoiled

Boy am I spoiled. Over the last month I've had the opportunity to yarn shop in 2 different metropolitan areas. And, did I ever go for it! I think being in Gainesville with such a limited selection makes these little sojourns do strange things to me. I never thought I'd be like this, but even when I didn't know what I'd do with a paricular skein, I just had to have it. The inspirational value of my yarn stash has increased greatly.

In the Los Angeles area I went to four shops. I chose which ones to go to based on reviews I read online. In all the shops I went to I was impressed by the sense of community I felt there. Well- most of the shops. I'd walk in and feel as though I could just sit down and knit with these people- comfortably. There were always groups of people sitting together and working on projects. One shop even invited me to stay for their holiday party that evening (they were setting out cookies, etc.). There was a sense of these shops as a community center. That felt so very nourishing.

Day 1 found me at Unwind and Stitch Cafe. At Unwind I bought a skein of gorgeous Rio De La Plata handspun, kettle dyed in "faded red brick". I bought this yarn for my brother's girlfriend, along with a knitting magazine- to encourage her in her knitting. I got home and realized I couldn't part with it (sorry Lea). I made peace with this by buying a more expensive skein the next day that I thought I could give away. At Stitch Cafe I adored their selection of malabrigo. The colors are magnificent. I'm thinking of felting a bag with it and the Rio De La Plata. Sharon and Lorena from SnB have felted some lovely totes and I'm jealous.

(Malabrigo with Rio de la Plata in "faded red brick" on the right)

Day 2 of the yarn crawl took us to the coast. We drove over an hour to get to these shops specifically because I had seen that they both carried "Socks That Rock". At the first shop, Wild Fiber, I found lots of beautiful yarn, but also found that they had sold out of the STR. I was very disappointed, but pleased with my other purchases. Also, I later realized that this was the shop that the "Knit 2 Together" authors own. And, I didn't know it at the time, but Mel Clark helped me with some yarn choices and took my money. So, that's my claim to fame- I shopped there.

Then, although we were running late to meet David's friend for dinner, David helped me race across town to the other shop, A Mano Yarn Center, where I was lucky to find a small stash of STR. (What a husband.) I took the 2 STR that I had any interest in. So, success. The feeling of this shop was one of the nicest among the shops. Not that the other shops weren't nice- they were. Just that somehow, although very small, it felt filled with good things and good energy.

(Left to right: Cherry Tree Hill "North Country Cotton Mini" in "Indian Summer", Cherry Tree Hill " North Country Cotton Mini" in "Tropical Storm", 2 Lorna's Laces "Shepherd Sock" 702 Fresh Stripe, Socks That Rock lightweight "Velvet Moon", and Socks That Rock lightweight in "Alina".

On that trip I also got Cherry Tree Hill "Supersock" in "Northern Lights", which I've been working on for my best friend Amy:

I really like the feel of this yarn. Squishy, sturdy, soft, bright- good stuff. It feels good on my fingers.

So, now we have gotten past the Christmas purchases and on to Philadelphia...

It occurred to me when I was shopping for yarn this day how much my mood affects my purchases. Rosie's Yarn Cellar had a wonderful selection of handdyed yarns. I was stunned by the choices of beautiful colors- bright or subdued, natural or not, etc. However, I found myself choosing rather earthy, calming colors. In Los Angeles, I craved bright, deep colors. I thought that was my nature. But rather, I think it had to do with what I "needed" there. I wanted that depth. In Philly, I had just auditioned and had a whirlwind time walking around the city. I needed calm- and I found it in this yarn. They had so many bright gorgeous colors, but somehow it didn't feel right to get them. I loved this shop, and will definitely be going back if I'm accepted at Temple. I even started a "frequent buyer" card.

On the top we have Autumn House Farm's Herdwick Fine merino superwash, in colorway "Barn Swallow". I adore this colorway, even though it's quite different from what I usually go for. In the middle, also from Autumn House Farm, we have a Stideaway Fine 100% wool in colorway "Bracken". Both of these yarns are very soft.

On the bottom you see the major spender of the day. I plunged and got the 100% silk lace from Claudia's Hand Painted Yarns in "Blue Sky" for the Lace Shawl KAL. I'm happily looking forward to starting this, as soon as one or both of my current projects are completed.

In Philadelphia, I also went to Loop, and *gasp* didn't get anything. I don't know if it was just because it was the end of the day and I was tired, or what, but I didn't really get into this shop. I felt like I had just been at a mom and pop's at Rosie's and at Loop I walked into Bloomingdale's. Maybe that's exaggerating, but I felt that way nonetheless. It was a nice place though. Just not my thing at that point.

So, those are my recent yarn acquisitions. Soon I'll share the spinning and accessory items I'm enjoying as well. S-P-O-I-L-E-D ....yay!

I've been knitting...

Although the audition, presentation, etc. took over most of my thoughts over the past few months I was still knitting. And, now I have some proof. One of my projects is still secret, since it isn't done yet. But, happily I have some FOs to show off finally, now that Christmas has past. (The post on my mom's lace socks have been returned to the public eye as well- from back in October.

Now, for the show:

*Start sultry music* *Melodious microphone voice* First we have Abigail, or rather Abigail's legs, showing off a lovely pair of socks. An example of how a basic cuff down sock recipe can create visually exciting and impressive socks when using the right yarn. Opal does it again with their silk ("seide") yarn. 30% Silk and 70% Wool makes for a yarn that initially was unpleasant to work with, but seemed to become more relaxed with time.

*Young knitter sits in front of blank background for a person-to-person interview* It really didn't feel soft at all. Honestly, I still wouldn't call it soft, but it's not scratchy the way I originally thought it was. I expected something different from a part-silk yarn, when I ordered it online. Still, I really like the way the colors worked up. Really like. The colors are deeper than they look in the picture, and make a cool pattern. I used size US1 DPNS.

Opal Silk, color 1359 -- sure to please your brother -- and get a response from his girlfriend that every knitter will appreciate, given that your brother is a landscaper. "You are NOT wearing those to work!"

Ok, the runway-post-style is getting to me. I'll stop.

My most recent FO was for the Stitch n' Bitch secret santa. I drew Steff as my giftee (somehow I knew I would, and was glad). I spent way too much time looking for the right yarn for her, but the result worked, I think. These socks were possibly my most intricate project yet, and took quite a while. I don't know why these lace socks (size 11) took longer than my mom's lace socks (size 11 1/2), but they did. I hope you'll indulge me, as I have a lot to show.

Yarn: Trekking XXL 104 Ombre (I liked the yarn. It was soft, and the colors were pretty in that they very slowly change shade- sometimes into colors I normally wouldn't think of going with the color scheme, but somehow work.)

Needles: Knitpicks Options DPNS US1 (first time using them. I like them, but they are much heavier than my usual bamboo. It felt really good to slide the yarn on and off. It felt luxurious. It just took some time to get used to the weight. That effect improved once I had knit more than an inch or so.

Pattern: "Chevron" from Charlene Schurch's book: Sensational Knitted Socks. pg. 71

I was stunned by the effect of this particular pattern with this particular yarn. I wanted to knit lace, and I wanted a self-striping yarn. The two don't often work well together, but this did. I love it. Of course, Charlene Schurch made this pattern specifically for self-striping yarn, but I didn't believe her until I saw it.

I admit that I had a long moment of serious consideration over the sanity of this pattern when I got to the heel. I was excited about this heel, which she calls the "forethought" heel. I'm always perturbed that when you knit with self-striping, the heel never really works into the color changes. This heel takes that into account, and is intended to result in concentric circles of color for the heel. I didn't believe her at this point:

(My first ever provisional cast-on)

What the heck?!!

However, the genius of it made itself known after some head scratching and plugging ahead.

The result of the heel:

And, the happy size 11 socks: (Steff, how many times have you wished you had smaller feet since becoming a knitter? ;)

I did it!

I'm back from Philadelphia, and man -- what a feeling! I don't know where to begin. Well, I'll start with Friday I suppose...

In the wee hours of Friday morning I got up while David was sleeping to decorate the living room with birthday decorations, etc. I was quite pleased with the effect. It didn't feel good to know that I would be leaving on his birthday, and I wanted the house to feel special and celebratory, even if I couldn't be there. That went over well, happily. (Happy Birthday, Honey.) David has been so supportive over the last few weeks as my stress level has steadily increased. It makes such a difference. I hope things can even out a bit more now though.

So then I finished packing everything up for the next few days and went to give a presentation in town. It's hard to talk about some of this on this blog, since I don't like to name what I do (lest someone search for my business name, etc.) but basicallyI gave an introductory talk about what I do in town, for a group of people who may want to refer people to me. It went very well. They seemed genuinely excited and intrigued by my presentation, and wanted my information. Of course I like the idea of referrals, but the main aspect of it that felt touching was knowing that I made a difference that morning. I like spreading the word about what I do, and they seemed to "get it" and be inspired. That feels good.

After the talk... off to Philadelphia! I felt so impressed by my public transportation abilities on this trip. I've never been to Philly before (well, not as an adult anyway), and I haven't spent a lot of time in any urban area. However, during the trip I managed my way on the regional rail from the airport to the hotel, walked around Center City a good bit (perhaps too much, if the current status of my hip is any indication), and took the city bus a number of times as well. I did have a few scary situations come up that reminded me of my status as a young woman alone in a city at night, but I was able to handle it. My hotel felt good to me, and I now find that the hotel actually is only a couple blocks from where the classes I would take would be held, if I am accepted. I feel oriented to that area, so that feels empowering. Center City is a cool area.

And I'm realizing that I'm putting off talking about the interview itself. It felt very very good. It had a quality to it that I'm finding hard to put into words. The audition (playing my pieces) went well, I felt. I did smudge up one of my pieces, but I managed to keep going through it. The other I felt very positive about. Musically, I felt strong and that I gave my best.

After I played we began the interview. I interviewed with three of the four professors there - the fourth is on sabattical this year (Doug, I think you'll know who I'm talking about). I know one of them on a somewhat casual level, since he's friends with my mentor -- he winked at me a few times, which was nice ;)

And still I'm not talking about the heart of it. With the stress of the last few weeks, I had begun to feel pretty run down before this trip. I was beginning to wonder why I was even going. Basically I was burned out. The minute I was in that room with those people, I felt a strong sense of the fullness of what this program could offer me, and what being a part of this community would mean to me. These people saw me. These people understood my process. They even saw that I am burned out- even when I hadn't really named that or accepted it myself. I presented myself with as much honesty and integrity as I could, and I felt honored by the response given by them.

Halfway through the interview, one of the professors took a step back from the "interview" question and answer format. With a sense of truth and honesty behind her words she asked me what I really truly want- not as an applicant, but as a person. I said, "I want to feel connected to something." The sharing that came as a result of that question and my answer renewed something in me that has been fading lately. Someone saw who I was and valued that person. What a gift.

Towards the end of my time in room 327, the director of the program asked me if I had any questions for them. Taking a breath I replied, "Honestly, any questions I might have had have been answered by the questions you have asked me." We laughed, andI felt a connection in that laughter that felt very good.

And so now I struggle with how much I want to be accepted to this program. To want it means that it would hurt to not be accepted. I have felt how renewed and inspired I was to have spent 45 minutes with these people. I'm excited to think what being in the program could offer me, and the person I would continue to grow into.

I think I have a lot to offer their program as well-- I hope they agree.