Receiving what I open to

I have always believed that life will offer an individual what they open themselves to. The emphasis of this belief is slightly different than receiving what you ask for, although similar. In my early years of college I didn't find the perfect boyfriend-- even though I certainly asked for it frequently ;) I didn't find the perfect partner until I made a shift in myself. The process of developing a new space inside oneself and nurturing it with honesty to oneself and openness is what brings that new desire. Although sometimes it's appropriate to take some external steps to get what you want, often it's simply that internal shift that brings about change.

I have always had this core belief, but it wasn't until I started my own business that the truth in it became most clear to me. For some reason, the processes involved in owning my own business make everything very clear. When I open to something, the very next week I get it. I'm sure this happens in the rest of my life, but I haven't been able to see it as clearly as in my work.

When we first came to Gainesville, I spent the first 2 months working hard to develop my business. I expected it would take time, but I got frustrated when I still hadn't gotten any calls after a few months. One Friday afternoon I became so frustrated and upset that I began crying and realizing how angry I was. I took a bath and just tried to crystallize what I wanted in my mind. I literally yelled "I want a family to call me with a 4-6 year old child who wants me to work with them right now!" Then I calmed down and settled in to watch a movie. Two hours later my business phone rang for the first time- it was the mother of a 4-year-old boy who wanted my services and wanted to get started ASAP. I still have that client and they started my journey into this business.

Since then, I find that there will be times when I haven't gotten any new calls for new clients. These are times when I actually don't WANT any new clients since I'm too booked. Then, that feeling will change and I'll realize I'd like more work. I'll talk to David and say, "I wouldn't mind having 2-3 more clients now. Maybe I'll advertise next week." The next few days I almost always get 3-4 calls from families who want me- before doing any advertising at all.

Well, the experience of going to Temple has been another opening time. I have been considering cutting back a bit on my days of work so that I can focus on a fuller school load if (when?) I get accepted. In the last week 3-4 clients, for various reasons have decided to terminate therapy soon- for good reasons, not bad. It feels good- interesting enough, I've also gotten about 6-8 new inquiries at the same time. This means that I will have some newness in my work (which I was wanting) and I'll still be able to cut down on my days some (which I was wanting). I'm just flabbergasted. I haven't gotten any new calls for a few months- and now they all call or email in one week. All of this simply because I shifted something inside myself and made what I really want more clear to myself.

We are very powerful individuals, if we allow ourselves to be. Good for me to remember.