End of the semester

My last paper for this semester is due in exactly a week. I finished my quantitative research papers and mailed them in early, which was a good move. I find that I thoroughly dislike doing quantitative research. I'm glad that it's there because it's necessary and sooooo important, and god bless the people who do it, but I really don't think I'm a a quantitative researcher. Getting through that class has been a biggie for me. But, I think I did a pretty darn good job for someone who hated it. So, that's good.

And I've finished my clinical supervision paper early as well. An intensely personal paper, it was easier to get through but still took a lot of focus (something I'm running short on lately).

So, I have today, Saturday and Sunday to finish my paper for Theories of Music Psychotherapy, which is a big paper but something I'm fairly interested in, so hopefully it won't be bad. I'll mail that in Monday morning and then begin work on my final paper for Foundations of MT, a class I've been enjoying quite a bit. We've been doing TONS of reading on various perspectives and approaches in MT- everything from behavioral and biomedical to GIM, music-centered MT, etc. Then the goal is to develop our own personal set of beliefs and our personal foundation for MT. What is music? What is therapy? What is MT? It gets pretty interesting...particularly since I really had no idea there was so much written on the theories of practice. And I get to really think about what I believe. Pretty exciting. So, that paper will be emailed into the professor by 9am next Friday. I should be able to make it.

This end-of-semester is going so much better than last semester. Last semester I literally worked 11 hours a day for two weeks straight to get everything done at the end. This time around I worked more consistently during the semester and have made myself take one day off each week throughout the semester in order to keep my sanity. That one day off has made a difference. So, although I haven't taken a day off in the last month of this semester, I'm still not nearly as crazy as last time. It's nice to not be completely loony! Which is a good thing because after handing in my final paper Friday I'll fly back to Philly the following Wednesday to start the summer semester. Terrific.

A source of pure joy for me in school has been the friendships I've been developing. Being in a long-distance program I really didn't know how much I'd feel connected to the people at school. After all, we spend a week or week and a half together 4-6 times a year and then sometimes interact through online discussion boards. But, during those weeks we're together in Philly we spend the entire day together. Some of us who fly in (there aren't that many) practically live together. Then we call and email and talk between classes, so it feels very close among us. With my professors too. I've built some strong connections with a few professors. The program is such that I feel I can really be myself. Something rare.

So, the stress of school has taken over a lot of my life in the last year. Something that feels a bit much at times. However, those friendships, and the sense of growth I've experienced inside myself is priceless. It's fairly amazing to stop occasionally, look at myself, and realize "Hey, I actually know some things. I actually have insights about some stuff. I'm a professional." I don't know what I expected from a Masters, but somehow I didn't expect to really feel that I'm educated. I didn't feel particularly educated after my bachelor's...I felt as though I could do some things and I was a good therapist. But, I didn't feel educated. It's a nice feeling. I'm more confident in my own skin.