Mama and Baba

Thanks to Steff and Clementine for your nice comments on my last post. They brought a smile to my face :)

I just finished cleaning the stove- a major undertaking in this household- and one that I don't seem to undertake often enough. However, the fact that it is being done means someone important is coming to visit. This time it means someone more important than usual is coming to visit- two important someones actually. David's parents, my in-laws. My in-laws have never before visited our home. We always visit them at their home in Los Angeles, or we meet them somewhere other than our home. This is a big deal. The fact that they will be here only one day is somehow adding a sense of pressure in me to that day, although I'm trying to relax into it.

For those of you who don't know, David's family is from Taiwan. Although David and his sister were born in the States, the Taiwanese culture is a big part of his parent's past. From talking to others and doing light research, I've come to know that Mama and Baba are unusual in many ways in that they "allowed" and were welcoming of David's marriage to me, a Caucasian woman. I have always appreciated their welcome of me into the family and their generosity, but the process of entering his family has been difficult for me at times. Well, often.

I'm happy to say that my relationship with them has grown remarkably well since David and I first met. Each year we're alittle more comfortable together. I've tried to learn a bit of their language so I can follow conversation topics at times. (They do speak English well, but as a family they often speak Taiwanese or Mandarin.) They try to get me the food that I need. We all try to understand one another, and I think we do a very good job. I don't know that it will ever be totally relaxed, but it's very friendly and there is starting to be a feeling of family among us.

However, I still (and may always) feel tense about fitting the role of the daughter-in-law. I know that I will never, and indeed could never, be the daughter-in-law that I would be if I were a Taiwanese woman. I don't think they expect that-- just the fact that we all live in the States makes that fairly impossible. But, there are other expectations that I try to respect and ways I try to fit the role of a "good wife" and "good daughter-in-law". Part of the issue is that I'm not completely sure of what I would do if I WERE Taiwanese. The traditional role of a daughter-in-law is not even in practice necessarily anymore, in which a young woman really becomes her mother-in-law's property of sorts. Although Mama and Baba don't have any of that expectation on me, the history still is there.

The main issue, I think, is that I want so badly to be a happy family with them, and I want so badly to be accepted. They do accept me- they are very loving and generous and kind to me- but I still struggle to make appearances (as I'm sure many daughter-in-laws do).

So, I'm in the midst of planning out David's wardrobe for the time they'll be here, cleaning the house, buying a new tablecloth and towels, planning foods that they will approve of, etc. They are coming the day after David and I get back from AZ, so all that needs to be done now.

It's an interesting process.

To ease my nerves I've done a bit of spinning and knitting.

Here is the almost completed first bobbin of the Cherry Tree Hill roving in jewel tones:

And, the beginning of Matthew's sock that I posted about earlier this week:


Haha! When I took that picture I hadn't though about posting about my in-laws, and yet I managed to get in our asian-themed futon cover. Go me! *clearing throat* Um, I mean...of course I themed this whole post.

Have a great weekend.