Good news!

This week, I can officially report that I have been accepted to Temple University for the Masters program! Hooray! I had some rather unofficial hints earlier (for which I was very grateful- I had been alittle obsessed over whether I got in or not), but this week I got the letter. I will say that the letter from the admissions department there was worded strangely; but the outcome was the same. I'm getting my Masters at Temple, starting in the fall.

This feels tremendous for me. First of all, I didn't decide I wanted to go for my Masters until the end of November (at Thanksgiving time). I pulled all this off in a month and a half. I'm very proud of myself. The essay, the transcripts, the letters of reference, the AUDITION, the trip to Philly, etc. It feels very good.

Secondly, my acceptance into this program means more to me than my acceptance into some other programs I've been involved in. I really wanted to get in of course, so that is a good part of the reason. But also, during my interview I really showed them a large part of who I am in a real way. Of course I did the "talk the talk" thing some, but then I opened myself. I essentially said, "this is who I am on a deeper level- I hurt, I cry, I want these things in my life, I have these passions, I am all these things... And, for the first time in quite a while I found these to be people who really saw who I was. They heard me and they listened. Sometimes you open yourself to someone on a deeper level, and they may not even notice or see that deeper place you were trying to share.

They saw me.

So, my worries were that maybe having seen me, they wouldn't want me in the program. However, I now find that they saw who I am on a deep level, and they really want me in the program, That means A LOT to me.

In other news, my cyst is better. Thanks for your well wishes. I'm still in pain during the day, but not the burning kind of pain, and not pain all the time. My acupuncturist gave me some trauma pills on Monday, and they really helped. I was able to work and do alright with it. I did have a moment when one of my clients was tantruming and banging his head against my chest when I thought I might pass out from the burn...but you know, on the whole, things are on the up and up ;)

And, the cyst is actually getting a bit smaller! It was softer before, but now I can tell that it feels shallower too. I think it may be starting to go away. I have to be careful about using the right side of my body still. I think that the cyst, over time, has become a part of the musculature of my chest. So, now that the cyst is softening it's affecting that side. It makes sense to me. In the long run, I'm ok with it because it is a positive step for me. I just need to be careful.

I will say that the cyst's departing is kind of sending me on an emotional roller coaster. For those of you who don't know, I normally don't eat any sugars- corn syrup down through juice sweetener. Well, I've put a hold on that. I need some crutch for helping with this emotional process of the cyst's dispersing. I've decided I'm ok with sugar being that for a short period of time. Plus, it's kind of fun to eat chocolate again ;)

So, that's the good news with school, and the news that's hard in the short-term, but good overall, with my cyst.

Health connections

Around 7 years ago, I had a sebaceous cyst develop on my chest. For those of you who don't know, they basically resemble a lump under the skin. I'm pretty sure that its development had something to do with a difficult relationship I was having at the time with my first boyfriend. I have a sense that it developed as a way to protect my heart from pain. It's hard to separate physical from emotional expressions, and those two are very tied together with this cyst. When it first came I did the doctor thing and made sure it wasn't breast cancer or anything. They said it was just a cyst-- they could take it out for me, or leave it. I left it. Since then, it has gotten slowly larger.

As some of you know, I spend a lot of time focusing on improving my health. Eating the right foods, getting regular acupuncture treatments, fixing Chinese herbal things, etc. Well, as I've been doing those things over the last year, my energy has slowly but surely improved. It's really great- I can do things I always wanted to do before, but couldn't because I got too tired. However, as my energy has increased, it's also been getting a bit stuck. Since David's been in school for Oriental Medicine, I've become accustomed to speaking in that terminology. It's hard to translate it into western terms. But, the basic idea is that my body hasn't been used to this energy and now that it's here, it doesn't know what to do with it. So, the energy is getting plugged up in areas of my body.

This is a positive thing, but has been causing me some issues. The main area of late has been in this cyst. I have a sense that energy is now available to help me move this cyst- and, perhaps more importantly, help me handle the emotions that caused the cyst in the first place. Three weeks ago the cyst became very tender and easily injured- causing some pain. So, my treatment has shifted some away from developing energy exclusively to really focus on eliminating the cyst through herbs. I don't want to get it cut out with surgery, because I don't think that would effect the root issues around the cyst, and I don't want to take away my "shield" too quickly. Since the cyst has become tender I've been particularly aware of how emotional I feel around it.

So, every day I'm boiling up herbs to drink, and every night I'm putting a poultice on the cyst and covering it with gauze and tape. After less than a week of doing this the cyst softened (for the first time in 7 years). Incredible! So, I feel this is really doing something. The only problem is that as it's healing it's become even more tender.

Yesterday David and I went canoeing in Cedar Key, FL. We met my aunt and boated out into the Gulf to an island off the coast. She kayaked, we canoed. It was lovely, however on the way back the wind picked up. It was kind of dangerous- we were exhausted. At some points the canoe just went backwards, no matter how much we rowed. A third of the way back I could feel my chest burning. Not a good thing. There wasn't anything to do but keep working though, because we had to get back. We did make it back, although David and I were both the worse for wear.

Last night I couldn't sleep because I kept waking up with a searing pain in my chest and this morning I've found I really can't use my right arm or my cyst will burn again. I can't pick things up, can't pull things out...and I can't knit! *gasp!* I was going to go to the knitting group today but couldn't do it-- :(

So, although this kind of sucks at the moment, I'm hopeful about this. I know the herbs I'm taking are making a difference, I just have to stop injuring it. I've been very impressed by all that David is able to help me with as a result of what he learns at school. He's so good at what he does and I'm very lucky to have his skill available to me.

Hey...could I make a plug for those of you in Gainesville? If any one's interested, his school has a low-cost student clinic in Chinese Medicine. It's fully supervised, and the students (like David) are very good. He'll be starting in May in the clinic. Dragon Rises College of Oriental Medicine. If you're interested in treatments, let me know- I'll get you the info.